Close Your Eyes
by HFrischmon
Summary: So basically it'a about how Spencer and Toby are best friends, and they have been for a long time. One of them may have feelings... Or maybe they both do? It's going to be a long complicated journey to figure out if there strong friendship is worth compromising for a relationship.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my new story! I really hope you like it. So basically it'a about how Spencer and Toby are best friends, and they have been for a long time. One of them may have feelings... Or maybe they both do? It's going to be a long complicated journey to figure out if there strong friendship is worth compromising for a relationship. Enjoy!**

I laid across my couch with my history book open. I was frantically writing notes and highlighting important dates. I heard the door open behind me. I didn't even have to see who it was, I already knew.

"What's up?" Toby asked passing me. He went straight to the fridge and poured himself a glass of orange juice.

"Studying for my Western Civilization class," I answered nonchalantly. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing," he swallowed the orange juice. "Just thought I'd see what you were doing today." He put his glass in the sink and walked back to the couch. He picked up my feet and sat down. Then he laid my legs back down across his lap.

I sighed. "After I finish this, Hanna invited me to a party at her house tonight." I closed my book and sat up. "Want to go?"

"Sure," he shrugged. "What's the party for?"

"No reason," I shook my head. "She's just in the mood for one. Plus her mom is out of town for work."

"Cool," he smiled. "What time should I pick you up?"

"Actually I'm going to help her get ready for it, you can meet me there at like eight though."

"Alright, see you then," he said getting up.

"See you later dude," I smiled.

Toby and I had been best friends since we were ten. We hang out almost everyday. He is my best friend that I have. I still had Aria, Hanna and Emily, but it was different with Toby. I was friends with him longer, and I felt so comfortable with him. My family was practically his family and I loved his parents as if they were my own.

* * *

"Holy shit Hanna," I said walking into the kitchen. "Is this necessary?" I asked looking at the table full of booze.

"Yeah," she looked at me. "It's going to be huge Spence! Everyone is coming."

"What do you need help with?" I asked.

"I just need us to go through the house and take anything breakable or expensive and put in the basement. No one is aloud to go down there during the party," She started with the giant glass vase sitting on the desk.

The four of us took many trips to the basement, basically carrying everything out. "Is Toby coming?" Aria asked me.

"Yeah, he'll be here at eight," I closed the door behind me. "I guess it's out of the question to ask if Ezra's coming?"

"Yeah, high school parties don't really appeal to him," Aria laughed.

"You guys want to get ready now?" Hanna asked.

We all nodded and followed her up to her bedroom. "Here," Hanna handed me a shirt.

"What's this?" I asked.

"You'll look hot trust me," Hanna winked. "Toby's going to love it."

I just rolled my eyes as I tried it on. I was very used to my friends acting like there was something going on between Toby and me. It was quite annoying, but I wasn't going to waste my breath on this conversation again.

"Really Hanna?" I looked at myself in the mirror. It was a black top that fit like a corset. It pushed my boobs together and sucked my waist in.

"I was right. You look hot!" Hanna smiled.

"I am not wearing this!" I argued.

"Yes you are!" Aria agreed with Hanna.

"Spence, it's really not that bad," Emily agreed. "You should wear it."

"Three against one," I mumbled. "Fine. But I'm throwing a sweatshirt over it, halfway through the night. I won't be able to breath." I put on a some jeans and stared at myself in the mirror.

Aria pushed me down on the chair. "Let me do your hair."

"You guys act like I'm helpless," I rolled my eyes.

"Because you are," Aria laughed. "Can I do your make up too?"

"Fine," I sighed. "But don't do a tone of eyeliner. Or I'll start looking like a hooker."

* * *

The house was filled. There was hardly any room to breath it was so packed. I wormed my way back to the kitchen to pour myself another drink. It was really taking the edge off. I was so stressed all the time with school, it was nice to feel relaxed.

"Hey you," I felt a pair of hands on my waist.

"Hey," I smiled turning around to see Toby. "How long have you been here?"

"Like twenty minutes. I was trying to find you," he yelled over the loud music.

"Want some?" I offered him my drink.

"I shouldn't," he shook his head. "I have to drive myself home later."

"You can sleep here," I said handing him my drink.

"Alright," he sighed taking my drink. He tipped it back and drank the whole thing. His face grimaced when he swallowed. "Jeez. A little strong Spence."

"I'm trying to have fun tonight," I said pouring another glass.

"How much have you already had?" He eyed me.

I tried thinking, "I don't know. Not that much."

He gave me a disapproving look as I took a large gulp of my drink. "Stop looking at me like that."

"Maybe you should slow down," he placed a hand on my lower back.

"Quit being a baby and have fun with me," I handed him his own glass.

* * *

We were on the couch, both of us pretty wasted. "One more," I laughed.

"I'm good," he laid his head back. "I don't want to get sick later," he smiled at me.

I tipped my glass back finishing it. "I am sooooo happy," I scooted closer to him.

He put his arm around me as I laid my head on his chest. It wasn't unusual for us, we cuddled on a daily basis.

"Why are you wearing this?" his finger traced my top across my chest.

"Hanna told me to," I mumbled. "You don't like it?" I looked up at him.

"No I like it," he smiled. "But it makes it hard."

"What's hard?" I looked into his glossy blood shot eyes.

He brushed the hair from my face, "To pretend that I only see you as a friend."

"What?" I laughed. "You don't like me like that!" I slapped his chest.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me in and kissed me. I could taste the alcohol as our mouths collided. I don't know why I reacted the way I did. But as soon as our mouths met I straddled his lap and intensely shoved my tongue into his mouth. We both moaned as we fought to take control of each other. My fingers pulled at his hair and his grip was tight around my waist. I forgot that there were other people around, and they were probably staring. But I didn't care.

"Do you want to go upstairs?" I mumbled in his mouth.

"Yes," he answered immediately.

I got off him and led him up to the guest room. From then on it was all a blurry moment of passion. I remember ripping each others clothes off. I remember feeling a little bit of pain considering I was a virgin. I remember also feeling pleasure. I remember climaxing unexpectedly. And the last thing I remember was his face as he finished before we both collapsed and passed out in the bed.

* * *

I woke up to a bright light. It was morning. I looked down at my body remembering the previous night. I was confused. Why was I dressed? Was it just a dream? But I was in the guest room, but there was no Toby. I looked around to look for any evidence. I slowly crawled out of bed. I felt the soreness in a place I never had before. Nope. It definitely wasn't a dream. But I hope it really was Toby, and that I wasn't imagining it was him…

**A/N: Was it really Toby? What do you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the reviews! Sorry for the short chapter but I wanted to update already...**

I walked into Hanna's room to find all the girls talking. "Morning," I said rubbing my eyes.

"Good morning," they all said in unison.

"Where did you sleep last night?" Emily asked.

"Uh… I passed out in the guest room," I said sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Did Toby stay the night?" Aria asked.

I tried to act like nothing happened last night. "I'm not sure."

"Mona said she say you two making out on the couch last night," Hanna smiled at me.

"I don't remember," I lied. "Mona's probably just starting rumors."

"Probably," Hanna agreed. "Will you guys help me clean?"

"Of course," I stood up, glad there was a subject change.

* * *

I got home and quickly changed out of that super restricting top. I threw on a baggy sweatshirt and leggings. I checked my phone, but there was still nothing. It wasn't like Toby to ignore me. I hope last night didn't ruin our friendship. I wasn't sure if I should try calling him or if I should wait for him to say something to me.

I ran back downstairs and pulled out my book for English. I was supposed to read Act 1 of Hamlet by tomorrow.  
Once I finished I looked at my phone again. Still nothing. So I pulled my calculus homework. After two problems I got stuck. I needed Toby, he was good at math. We always did our homework together. I sighed before reaching for my phone and calling him.

"Hello?" Toby answered.

"Hey," I greeted awkwardly. "I need help with calculus. Do you think you could come over and help me with it?"

He paused for a long moment.

"Or I could come to your house if that's easier," I offered.

"No," he said quietly. "I'll be over in twenty minutes."

"Ok," I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, I'll see you soon."

When I hung up I sighed trying to calm my nerves. I knew he was feeling awkward. Maybe if I pretend like I don't remember anything he'll feel better. That's what I'll do. I'll just act like everything between us is completely normal.

Soon enough I heard a knock on the door. That was weird… he always just walks right in. "Hey," I said opening the door. "You could've just walked right in," I smiled.

"Yeah, uh… my hands were full," he said looking down at his books.

"So…" I said sitting on the floor by my books. "I got to problem three and now I'm stuck. Please tell me you got that far."

"Yeah, I'm finished with it," he said sitting down far away from me.

"Show me what you did when you got here," I pointed at where I was in my work.

He picked up his pencil and made an adjustment, "you skipped a step."

I face palmed myself. "I always forget to do that! My mind must have been else where," I said honestly.

He gulped nervously looking back down at his stack of books. "Hey, did you start reading Hamlet yet?"

"Yeah I finished Act 1 already," I scooted closer to him. I had to prove that I felt like nothing happened last night.

"I… I have a hard time with Shakespeare," he stuttered. "I don't understand what's going on," he opened up to where he was.

"Here," I pointed to the page he was on. "Laertes is telling his sister Ophelia that she should stay away from Hamlet. Because all he wants is to assail her chastity."

"Why can't they just say it like that," he runs his fingers through his hair frustrated.

I laugh, "Because this was written in the late 1500's. Plus Shakespeare had a creative way of telling stories."

"I don't like it," he mumbled frustrated.

I laid down on my stomach, "I'm going to finish this calculus stuff. Let me know if you need more translation."

"Ok," I heard him laugh.

I quickly raced through the next four problems, before I got stuck again. "I need help," I rested my head on the notebook.

He crawled down next to me also laying on his stomach.

"I hate Integration of Trigonometric Integrals!" I pouted.

"It's because you keep messing up the u-substitution," he erased my work. I watched as he showed me how he does it.

"That makes more sense now," I said taking back my pencil. "How's Hamlet going?"

"Rough," he chuckled. "I'm pretending I understand it. I might as well be reading a book in Chinese because I have no clue what's going on."

"Let me finish the last problem and then I can help you," I said already going to town on my notebook.

He patiently laid next to me waiting for me to finish. "Done!" I finally said throwing my pencil on the floor.

I scooted closer to him and helped him dissect the story. I laughed to myself as he tried dissecting it himself, he really did have no clue what was going on. "Here," I handed him my summary. "You'd be better off reading this. Just summarize my summary." I stretched my arms and legs out. "While you finish that, I'm going to make us some popcorn. Want to stay and watch a movie?"

"Sure," he said looking over my summary.

I was glad he was starting to act normal again. Maybe he really did think I didn't remember. I had to keep him believing I had no idea. I didn't want our friendship to fall apart because of one night. He was too important to me.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked as he moved his books out of the way and sat on the couch.

"Whatever," he shrugged.

"Let's do scary," my eyes widened.

"Do you remember the last time we watched a scary movie?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah but that was last year. I'm much more grown up, I can handle it," I said throwing in a scary movie.

I walked back to the couch handing him the popcorn as I found us a blanket. I stretched it across the both of us and cuddled into his side. It was normal for us to cuddle, we did it all the time. We never looked at it as a romantic thing, but now I couldn't help but think maybe subconsciously it always was.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey Spencer!" Andrew yelled down the hall running towards me.

**Thanks again for the reviews! Sorry if this chapter is a little boring.**

"Hey," I smiled at him.

"How was your weekend?" He asked as he walked with me to my locker.

"It was pretty good," I said pulling out my books for Western Civilization. "How about you?"

"It was boring," he shrugged. "Are you ready for the debate meet this weekend?"

"Yeah," I straightened up. Andrew and I had a friendly competition with everything school related. "Are you?"

"Of course, I've been ready for weeks now." He smiled at me. We both walked to our next class that we had together. We sat next to each other. "You ready to see how you did on the test last Friday?" he raised his eyebrows at me.

"You know you'll never beat me when it comes to history. I got that in the bag," I gave him a cocky grin.

"I don't know about that, I think I did pretty good on Friday," he playfully flirted.

The teacher laid down his test. He flipped it over and flashed the big A at me. "98%. Beat that Hastings."

Minutes later she laid my test down in front of me. "Well would you look at that. 100%, again." I winked at him.

"That's fair," he nodded his head in defeat. "But I know I'll kick your butt on the Physics test on Wednesday."

"Game on," I threatened.

* * *

Andrew and I laughed the whole way back to my locker. I turned to find Toby standing there waiting for me.

"Hey," I smiled at him.

"Hey," he smiled. His smile faded when he looked at Andrew. "Andrew," he greeted.

"Toby," Andrew responded just as stern.

I never understood why they acted so unfriendly towards each other. "You ready for gym?" I asked Toby trying to cut the tension.

"Yeah," he said still staring Andrew down.

I grabbed his hand pulling him with me. They looked like they were about to fight each other. "What is wrong with you?" I punched him in the arm.

"He bugs me," he shrugged.

"Because?" I asked.

"He just does," he shrugged again.

"Men," I rolled my eyes. "See you in a couple minutes," I said walking into the girls locker room.

* * *

I hated to admit it to myself but I loved watching Toby in gym class. He was so good at everything and he looked… hot doing it. That was so weird to think about my best friend like that. But ever since the party I saw him in a different light. "Toby," I said helplessly. "I suck at this."

He looked at me and smiled. "Try bending your knees more."

I bent my knees and tried again. I missed the hoop again. "What am I doing wrong?"

He handed me my ball. "You have to have one hand here," he showed me. "And the other one here."

I tried again doing exactly what he told me.

"That was better," he admitted. "Just relax, you're too tense." He came up behind me and rested his hands on my hips, "Relax," he whispered.

I suddenly felt weak. It was hard to focus on the task at hand when he was doing that to me. I let out a shaky breath and then tried again. "I made it!" I jumped in the air. I turned around and hugged him.

He laughed in my ear. "Don't get too excited. Maybe it was just luck," he teased.

"Wow," I shoved him away from me. "You know how to ruin the moment."

"I'm just kidding," he defended himself. "Forgive me?" He stepped closer to me.

I shook my head no and crossed my arms trying not to smile.

"Please," he stepped closer so we were almost touching. He was grinning ear to ear. "Come on," his finger tip were touching my hips.

What was he doing? Why was he doing this? Better yet, why was I feeling butterflies? I was frozen in place for a moment totally confused. This was my best friend! I wasn't supposed to feel this way!

Thankfully the gym teacher blew his whistle dismissing class. We both automatically backed away from each other and reality sunk in. "See you in Calc," I mumbled heading back to the locker room.

* * *

The worst part of my day was calculus which was the very last class. I hated it because I had a really boring teacher and math wasn't my best subject. Plus I had class with both Andrew and Toby. Awkward. I had to sit right between them. I could feel the tension between the two, it nearly suffocated me.

"Hey what did you get for number 4?" I leaned over to Toby.

He slid his paper over to me so I could see. "Sweet," I smiled. "I'm finally doing something right."

I felt something poking me in the arm. It was Andrew's pencil. "What's up?" I asked.

"Are you finished with the assignment yet?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm just double checking everything. Why?" I whispered.

"I was just wondering if you wanted help," he shrugged.

"I think I got it, thanks though," I smiled at him.

I could feel Toby staring at us. I hated this. I wish we could all three talk together with no tension. But I had to be stuck in the middle.

"So what are you doing this weekend?" Andrew asked me.

"Nothing really." I shrugged. "You?"

"I was going to see if you wanted to go out Friday night…" he looked nervous.

"Like on a date?" I clarified.

"Yeah," I could tell he was nervous.

"Well… Toby and I usually go see a movie on Friday nights. But… I'll see if we can rearrange our plans," I turned to Toby. It was obvious he overheard our conversation. His jaw was clenched and he was pretending to do his assignment when I knew he was already finished with it. "Tobes," I got his attention. "Can we see a movie on Saturday instead?"

"Sure," he said looking down at his paper.

"Are you sure?" I nudged him.

He looked at me finally, "Yeah it's fine."

"Ok," I gave him an apologetic look. I turned back to Andrew. "When should I be ready?"

"I'll pick you up at six," he smiled.

"Ok," I smiled back. The bell rang, letting us know school was over. Toby quickly left the room. That wasn't like him, we usually walked back to my locker and then walked to our cars together. "Andrew, I'm going to catch up to Toby," I told him.

I practically had to elbow my way through the sea of people to get to him. I grabbed his arm. "What's wrong with you?" I asked him.

"Nothing," he kept walking.

"You didn't wait for me. We always walk together after class," I gave him a weird look.

"Sorry, I forgot," he mumbled.

"Forgot?" I questioned him. "Are you mad at me for rescheduling our plans?"

"I told you it was fine," he said stone faced.

"Is it?" I grabbed his arm again.

"Spence, it's fine!" He raised his voice.

We got to my locker he was about to keep walking but I stopped him. "Why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not," he rolled his eyes.

"Yes you are! Now tell me what I did wrong," I glared at him.

"I just don't like him, ok?" He glared back at me.

"Why not?" I honestly didn't know why he had such a problem with him.

"I just don't. He tries to get on my nerves on purpose," he told me.

"No he doesn't," I shook my head. "Now can you try to be nice to him. For me?" I reached for his hand.

"I do try," he said holding my hand as we walked back to our cars.

* * *

"So how was your date with Andrew?" Emily asked as we sat in Aria's room.

"It was good," I smiled.

"Do you like him?" Hanna giggled.

"I don't know?" I shrugged. "We have so much in common and we have fun together."

"So… what's the hesitation for?" Aria raised her eyebrows.

"I'm afraid to let myself fall for him," I admitted.

"Because?" Emily pressed.

"Because… I don't know." I looked at them. They all gave me the look, like they weren't going to let it go. "It's hard to date someone, that your best friend hates."

"Toby hate's him?" Aria asked.

"Yeah, and I have no idea why," I rolled my eyes annoyed.

"It's so obvious why!" Hanna snorted. "He loves you Spence. He won't like any guy that gets close to you."

"That's not true," I shook my head.

"Are you really that blind?" Emily laughed. "Because it's obvious to everyone else."

"Guys! There is nothing going on between us!" I snapped. "We're just friends. Just because we like to hang out with each other, and we laugh together, doesn't mean we like each other."

They all sat silently, taken back by my outburst. Of course Hanna couldn't let it go, "But you guy's are always touching."

I rolled my eyes in defeat. "Forget it. I'm going home."

**A/N: What do you guys think will happen from here?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews. For those who are also reading I don't Belong To you I've been struggling. So just be patient with me I need some time to think of where I want that story to go. I'm not giving up on it, I'm just taking a little break. Anyways please R&R this chapter!**

It had been a couple weeks since my first date with Andrew. We had gone a couple more since then. I was really enjoying spending time with him. "I had a lot of fun tonight," I blushed as he walked me to my front door.

"Me too," he smiled. He glanced over his shoulder peering into my house. "Toby's here."

"Yeah," I knew he would be. "He's probably hanging out with my dad."

"That's weird," Andrew laughed.

"Not really," I shook my head. "He's known my dad for eight years."

"Still," he gave me a weird look.

"Anyways…" I changed the subject. "I'll see you at school on Monday."

"Yeah," he nodded. He pulled me in for a kiss. It was short but sweet. When he pulled away I blushed.

"Thanks again," I said kissing him once more before heading inside. Toby was on my laptop sitting on my couch. "What are you doing?" I asked sitting next to him.

"Writing my paper for English," he said concentrated on his work.

"Are you almost done?" I asked.

"Not really," he closed the laptop. "But I can take a break."

"Good," I smiled. I cuddled into his side.

He automatically put his arm around me. "How was your date?" I could hear the distaste in voice.

"I don't want to talk about it," I sighed.

"That bad?" I could hear him smile.

"No it was good. I just know you don't want to listen to me talk about it," I played with his hand.

"That's not true," he mumbled into my hair.

"We went to dinner and then walked around town for a while," I gave him little information as possible.

"And then he kissed you good night," he finished.

I hesitated for a while, "how did you know?"

"He made sure I was watching," he sighed.

"No he didn't Toby," I shook my head. "I think I would know."

"That's why he looked at me right before he did it?" He looked at me.

I pulled away from him so I could read him. "Why do you care so much?"

He looked away, "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't," I relaxed back into his arms. I yawned and pulled the blankets over us.

"Are you tired?" He asked.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"It's nine o'clock," he chuckled.

"So?" I raised my eyebrows.

"You, Spencer Hastings don't start yawning until at least eleven," he informed me.

"I had a long week," I yawned again.

"It was just like any other week," he challenged.

"Would you quit arguing with me and let me sleep on you?" I mumbled into his chest.

I felt his chest rise in laughter. He then leaned his head against mine and sighed in contentment.

* * *

A week later…

"So did you kiss Andrew again?" Hanna smiled at me.

"No," I shook my head.

"What's wrong with you?" Emily noticed my distance.

"Nothing," I tried perking up.

"Spence," Aria set her hand on my knee. "There is something wrong. Just tell us."

I looked at the three of them. They just stared at me waiting for me to tell them. Tell them what I've been ignoring for a week now. I don't know why but the tears filled my eyes quickly. I could feel myself shaking, I felt like I was Volcano about to burst. Everything I was trying so hard to ignore was unable to stay away. It flooded my mind instantly.

They all suddenly tried comforting me and telling me I didn't have to tell them anything.

"I think I'm pregnant," I blurted out finally.

They all pulled back and shut up immediately. They looked shocked and confused. "There's no way," Hanna finally laughed like it was a joke. "You're a virgin Spence."

"No I'm not," I shook my head.

"What do you mean you're not?" Hanna asked. "You never told us you lost it."

"I didn't want anyone to know," I wiped the tears from my face. "It was a one time thing."

"So you slept with Andrew?" Aria clarified.

"No," I shook my head. "Toby. At the party at Hanna's. We were both drunk and… I'm pretty sure there was no protection used."

"Wait! Like in my house," Hanna blurted out.

"Yeah, sorry."

"What do you mean you think?" Emily asked. "Have you taken a test?"

"No, I'm scared." I started to cry again. "What am I going to do?"

"Well don't start freaking out yet. It might be nothing," Aria rubbed my back. "Let's take a test first. And if we need to worry about it, we will after."

"I don't have a test," I shook my head.

"I do," Hanna blurted out.

We all just stared at her in confusion.

"What?" Hanna rolled her eyes. "You never know! Caleb and I can get out of control…" Hanna went through her purse and pulled out a box. "There's two in there, take both."

As I clenched the box it became more real. I cried again even harder.

* * *

I paced Emily's bedroom as I waited for the results. They all sat on the bed trying to comfort me telling me they would support me. "But what about my parents? And college? And Toby…" I sat down unable to think straight.

Hanna's phone alarm went off. "It's time," she sighed.

"Aria, you tell me what it says. I don't think I can see straight right now," I had my head in my hands.

I heard her cross the room and pick up the test. There was a long pause and I knew… I just knew. "It's positive."  
After I cried for a good twenty minutes and I was able to breath normal I could finally answer their questions.

"What are you going to do?" Emily asked.

"I don't know at this point," I shrugged.

"Are you going to tell your parents?" Aria asked.

"Not right now. I will have to eventually," I shook my head in disappointment.

"And Toby?" Hanna asked.

"He can't find out," I knew that for sure.

"What do you mean? He's going to notice when you walk around with your pregnant belly," Hanna shook her head.

"I'll tell him it's not his then," I shrugged.

"Spence," Aria shook her head disapproving. "So you are going to raise this child and never let them know who their father is?"

"I'll give them up, then it won't matter," I answered numbly.

"Toby deserves to know," Emily told me.

"This wasn't supposed to happen. We are just friends! We weren't supposed to have… a baby!" I could feel the tears again. "It's better this way."

"Spence, you should tell him," Aria tried.

"No. I'm not going to tell him. And you guys can't either!" I looked at them. "I think I can hide it with big sweatshirts. By the time I give birth we will be leaving for college, and then I can give them to parents who are meant to be together. He will never know this happened. Now please don't say a word to him."

"He's going to find out," Hanna shook her head. "Toby can tell when you wear different perfume. You don't think he'll catch on?"

"I'll make sure he doesn't," I said before leaving.

* * *

A few days later…

"Hey Spence," Toby greeted me as he opened the door.

I nearly dropped the plate I was washing in the sink. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"It's Saturday… Didn't we have plans to go see that movie you wanted to see?" He looked at me funny.

"Yeah…Right! Of course," I faked a smile. I looked down at my watch, "What time were we going again?"

"In twenty minutes," he walked towards me. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah… Yeah! Why wouldn't I be?" I tried relaxing my body.

"You seem… Jumpy," he eyed me up and down.

Damn Hanna was right! He notices everything! "No I was just surprised to see you," I shook my head.

"I always come over…" He was still staring at me awkwardly.

"I know." I wanted to crawl into my bed and stay there for the next 8 months or so. I was just digging myself a bigger hole. "I'm going to change, I'll be back down."

"Ok," he let it go. He sat down on my couch as I ran up to my room.

I quickly pulled out a t-shirt and jeans. And then I put on some mascara and brushed my teeth. I looked at myself in the mirror before going back downstairs. I placed a hand on my stomach. I was so paranoid that I looked like I was showing. But I was only about 5 weeks.

"Come on Spence, we'll be late!" Toby yelled from downstairs.

I ran down the stairs. "Sorry I couldn't find… Uh. A bra," I lied.

"Ew," He smiled at me playfully.

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes and playfully smacked him. "Let's go."

We walked to his truck. "Are you sure you're ok?" He asked again.

"Yes, I'm fine," I shrugged trying to play it cool. "Why are you so… persistent?"

"I'm just making sure," he put his hands up like he was surrendering. "I don't believe you by the way."

I glared at him, "You are so annoying!"

He chuckled quietly, "I can tell when you are lying, that's all I'm trying to say."

"Well I'm not lying," I told him.

"Liar," he mumbled as we pulled out of my driveway.

**A/N: What do you guys think?**


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks** for the reviews! I need some inspiration... So anything would be gratefully appreciated. **

Spencer is now two months pregnant

I finally got the courage to go into the doctor. I had been ignoring the pregnancy for as long as I could. But I knew that the best thing for me to do was to go to the doctor and figure everything out.

"This is so weird," I said to Hanna as I waited in the room. I sat on the examination table while Hanna sat in a chair beside me.

"It's not that weird," Hanna tried making me feel better.

"Thanks for coming with me," I smiled at her.

"No problem," she smiled back. "When are you going to tell your parents?"

I sighed and laid my head in my hands, "probably tonight. I just want to get it over with."

"Yeah that's going to be rough," Hanna admitted.

There was a light knock on the door and then the doctor walked in. "Hello Ms. Hastings I'm Dr. Thorsten," she smiled.

"Hi," I smiled weakly.

"So the test results are already back, and you are definitely pregnant," she said sitting down.

"Yeah, I know," I sighed. Even though I was hoping it was all a mistake.

"I'm just going to ask you a few questions if you don't mind," she smiled.

"That's fine," I nodded my head.

"Do your parents know?"

"No," I shook my head. "But I'll tell them soon."

"Do you know approximately the day you conceived?" She gave me that look like I would have no idea.

"Yeah, it was December 18th," I shifted. It was uncomfortable talking about the day I conceived with my best friend.

"You're sure?" She scrunched her eyebrows together.

"Yes. That's the only day I've ever…"

"Ok," she nodded her head in understanding. "Is the father aware?"

"No," I shook my head. "I plan to keep it that way."

"Alright," she nodded again. "Do you know what you want to do?"

I felt my mouth go dry. "I want to continue the pregnancy. I just haven't decided what I want to do once it's born."

"Well I can give you some pamphlets on adoption. That way you can be educated on your options," she smiled.

"Ok," I nodded.

"Do you have any pains with the pregnancy?" She opened up her chart.

"Not other than occasional nausea," I shrugged.

"Any other symptoms you're having?" She asked.

"Just more tired. I'm a little more moody and emotional than usual. My appetite has increased too," I tried thinking if anything else that was different.

"All normal things," she said as she wrote things down. "I'm going to have you lay down."

I laid down and pulled up my shirt. She did an examination in my lower stomach. Asking if anything hurt when she touched it. It seemed like everything was fine. "The next step is to set up an ultra sound. How does four weeks from now sound?" She asked.

"Fine," I nodded.

"Ok, I will see you in March then. I will have the receptionist set you up," she smiled again.

"Thank you," I tried smiling at her. She really was friendly and I felt like she wasn't judging me.

* * *

I paced the kitchen as my parents sat down waiting for me to speak.

"Spencer, what is it?" My mom asked.

"You guy's are going to be so mad at me… I just want to say that I'm really sorry. It was a huge mistake and I know that. I'm really sorry that I'm disappointing you guys but-"

"Spencer spit it out," my dad interrupted me.

"I'm pregnant," I blurted out.

"That's not funny," my mom shook her head.

"I know it's not. But it's the truth," I looked down at my hands.

There was silence. I could feel there confused looks as they tried to process what I just said.

"But that's not possible," my father mumbled. "You don't even have a boyfriend! Wait… Is this that Andrew kids child!"

"No dad… it's not his," I sat down in the chair.

"Who did this to you?" My dads face changed to anger.

"I-I can't tell you," I knew this would come up.

"Tell me!" My dad pounded his fist into the table. "Who is it!?"

"It's- Uh- It doesn't matter!" I yelled. "It's over and done with! It happened and we can't change that! Now… I'm going to have this baby-"

"Spencer you don't seriously think you can have this baby," my mom shook her head. "You have college!"

"I know. I haven't decided what I want yet. College is important to me and I will go! I just might have to make adjustments. I might give it up for adoption… I just don't know at this point," I answered honestly.

"Spencer you are throwing your life away," my mother shook her head.

"Like I said, I can't take back what already happened. But I have to be an adult and deal with my mistakes. Now I know you guys are mad but… I'm just sorry," I could feel the disappointment in the air.

"I am… disappointed. But I'm not mad," my mom said surprisingly calm. "Who else knows?"

"Aria, Hanna, and Emily," I sighed.

"Does Toby?" My mom asked.

"No," I shook my head. "And don't say anything to him please. I can't handle anymore disappointment. I'll tell him when I'm ready," I lied.

I could tell my dad was angry and disappointed. "I'm sorry dad."

He just got up from the table and walked upstairs to his bedroom. "Mom?" I looked at her for comfort.

"Just go to bed Spencer," she sighed in sadness. "We will deal with this later."

* * *

I sat in bed bawling. It didn't help that my hormones were extra sensitive. I felt like my world was crumbling beneath me. I knew exactly what I needed in that moment but I knew he would make me tell him what's wrong. I looked at my clock it was nine thirty. I knew he was probably still awake so I texted him.

**Are you awake?-S**

**Yes. Why? -T**

**Can I come over? -S**

**Of course.-T**

**I'll be there soon. -S**

I stood outside his door hoping he would answer soon before I burst into a waterfall of tears. "Hey," he said as he opened the door. I knew he saw the look on my face. "What's wrong?"

"Can we just go to your room?" I asked.

"Sure," he said letting me in. I immediately walked into his room and crawled into his bed. Once my head hit the pillow I cried. I felt him crawl in with me. "What's wrong?"

I just pulled onto his shirt and cried into his chest. There was a big part of me that wanted to tell him why I was crying. But I knew that would change everything so I didn't, I couldn't.

"Spence," he tried again.

"Just hold me," I sobbed.

I knew he wanted to know why but he listened to me and just held me tighter. He kept telling me everything was going to be ok. But that just made me feel worse. He would occasionally kiss the top of my head, something he did when he was comforting me.

After I calmed down and I actually felt like I could fall asleep I turned around in his arms to face him. I looked up at him. He looked so sad and so scared. I knew I was confusing him and I knew he just wanted me to tell him what was wrong, but I wasn't going to.

"Spence," he pushed the hair from my face.

"I'm fine," I faked a smile.

"No you're not," he cupped my face.

"I am," I said closing my eyes feeling exhausted.

"Tell me what's wrong," he ordered me.

"No," I smiled.

"Spencer," he forced me to look at him. "Is it Andrew?"

"No," I let out a small laugh. "it's not about Andrew."

"Is it one of the girls? Did something happen?" He kept searching for answers.

"No they're fine," I shook my head.

"Is it your parents?" He tried again.

"No. Now will you stop?" I rolled my eyes.

"Is it me? Did I do something wrong?" he looked worried.

I silently stared at him for a while. If only he knew… I scooted a little closer to him so our faces were just inches apart. "I would never be mad at you."

"Then what is it?" he placed a hand on my cheek again.

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine," I assured him.

"Stop lying to me," he looked like he was getting mad.

I stared at him again. How was I going to shut him up? I knew it was a mistake coming over here. But he was the one person that I needed. I leaned in closer and lightly touched my lips to his. To say I felt butterflies was an understatement. Maybe it was because I was carrying his baby, but I felt a shift in my feelings for him. I pulled away before I got carried away. I couldn't do this to myself. Eventually I was going to have to start pushing him away and it is going to hurt the both of us. But for tonight I was going to keep him close.

I could see the confusion in his eyes as I pulled away. But I turned around in his arms and closed my eyes, trying to get some sleep. I wasn't sure if he liked the kiss or if he thought it was weird. But I felt his grip tighten around me. I smiled knowing the answer to that question. His arms circled around my torso. One of his hands was right over my belly. I got goose bumps thinking about the meaning of where his hands were. But then I relaxed knowing he would never know the intensity I felt when his hands were there.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks again! Please let me know you feel about this chapter!**

Spencer is now 3 months pregnant

I sat in the chair waiting for my ultra sound. Aria sat beside me waiting for the technician. "Are you excited?"

"I wouldn't really call it excitement," I sighed.

"You don't even feel a little bit of happiness about hearing your Childs heartbeat for the first time?" She set down her magazine.

"I don't know?" I said honestly. "Toby's getting suspicious," I couldn't get my mind off him.

"He thinks you're pregnant?" Aria asked surprised.

"No. He just knows I'm being weird. He knows I'm trying to push him away," I looked out the window. "He won't leave me alone."

"I told you it wasn't going to be easy," she reminded me. "Do you think you'll be able to hide it?"

"I don't know? My parents don't understand why I won't tell him," I shrugged.

"Do they know he's the father?"

"No. Honestly I think they would be happy it's him. They keep assuming its like some drug dealer who's in prison," I rolled my eyes.

"Why would they think that?" She laughed.

"Probably because I get weird every time they ask," I shrug.

"Hi Spencer," The technician greeted. She came over and sat down. She played with the monitor for a moment. "Can you lift your shirt?"

"You are already starting to show a little bit." She proceeded with the gel and the wand. "Alright. We are just looking for a heartbeat and were going to see how the baby is growing."

I nodded not looking at the monitor. I couldn't help but wish Toby could share this moment. Soon I heard the sound fill the room. I quickly snapped my head to the monitor. I could see a small figure on the screen. I felt the tears fill my eyes. I really didn't want to love this baby. I didn't want to care. But I did. It was me and it was Toby.  
"Is he or she growing ok?" I whispered.

"Everything looks perfect," she smiled at me.

I couldn't help but feel relief. She wiped the gel off my stomach and pulled my shirt back down for me. "Dr. Thorsten will be in, in just a minute to talk with you. But I think everything looks great! I'll see you for another ultrasound at 20 weeks. If you want we can find out the gender then."

"Thank you," I smiled.

She handed me my first ultrasound pictures before she left.

"I'm a little excited now," I told Aria.

"So… does that mean you want to keep it and not give it up for adoption?" She hesitated.

"I haven't decided. I have to give up a lot if I keep it," I sighed thinking about Toby. "But I also have to give up a lot if I do give them up for adoption," I said placing a hand over my small bump.

"You'll make the right decision," she assured me.

* * *

I came home to find Toby sitting on my couch. "What are you doing here?"

"You've been asking me that a lot lately…" he gave me a funny look.

"I-I just wasn't expecting you here," I hung up my purse and jacket.

"You're still being weird," he looked me up and down.

I relaxed trying to look convincing. I sat on the couch beside him. I cuddled into his side, "I'm just stressed about stuff."

"Like what?" he asked.

"School," that was the partial truth.

"And?" he saw through my facade.

I didn't answer I just sighed heavily and hoped he would drop it. His arm draped around me and his lips rested on the top of my head. "Want to go to a party tonight?" He asked.

"Uh- I can't." I thought about how hard it would be to explain why I wasn't going to drink. And why I was going to a party in a baggy sweatshirt.

"Why not?" he pressed.

"I don't feel that great," also partially true.

"Catching a cold?" he wondered.

"Just some stomach issues," I shrugged. "But you can go. Maybe Emily will go with you or something?"

"I don't want to go without you," he shook his head. "Beside's now I can take care of you."

"No you should go!" I sat up. "Beside's I'll most likely be sleeping all day."

"Then I'll sleep with you," he fought me.

I sighed. "Suit yourself." I knew he just wanted to find out was going on with me.

I walked up to my bedroom and of course he followed. I laid down in my bed and of course he did the same. I turned over and closed my eyes hoping I would fall asleep. I could here him playing a game on his phone.

"I can't sleep with that noise," I grumbled.

I heard him turn the volume off and then proceed to play.

After about ten minutes I could tell he got frustrated and gave up. He rolled over so his head was hovering above mine. "Will you please just tell me."

"There's nothing to tell," I mumbled in annoyance.

He sighed, "You are making me mad."

"You are making me annoyed!" I turned over.

"Well I wouldn't be annoying you, if you just told me the truth," he grinned sarcastically.

"Can you just forget about it?!" I snapped. "Just leave me alone!"

"No, Spencer I won't!" He yelled back.

"Well I want you to! Get out of my room!" I yelled.

He stood up and turned around to face me. "You know Spence… I tried. I'm sorry that I care about you. But it's obvious you don't care about me," he turned for the door.

"Really?!" I shouted. "You don't think I care? I care so much that…" I felt the tears fill my eyes. I almost said it. Almost. "Just leave. And don't come back."

He clenched his jaw before heading out my door. I heard the front door slam as he left the house.

I laid back down in my bed. This is it. This is what needed to happen. This was our goodbye. I pulled the ultrasound picture out of my pocket and clenched it to my chest. I sobbed as my heart slowly shattered. I just lost my best friend, the father of my baby, and… the love of my life.

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the reviews! I've been so busy in my life I've had no time to update and I apologize. For those who are reading I Don't Belong To You, I plan on updating that soon. I'm stuck once again and I just don't know where to go, but I will try to come up with something this week.**

Spencer is now 4 months pregnant

"How's the baby?" Emily asked as she picked me up from the doctor.

"Good," I smiled as I buckled myself in.

"Wow you're really starting to show now." She stared as my seatbelt hugged the underside of my belly.

"Yeah… You can't really tell unless I wear tight clothes," I shrugged. I just had two month left in school. I was hoping I could hold it off until then.

"Still no word from Toby?" She asked as we pulled out of the parking lot.

"No. I haven't heard from him in three weeks, which means he's not bombarding me with questions. It's a good thing though," I sighed.

"Is it?" she said under her breath.

"Look I know you guys don't understand why I won't tell him. But it's just easier this way," I explained myself.

"How? You are miserable Spencer. How is this better?" She shook her head.

"He wouldn't want this. This way I don't get hurt," I looked down.

"You know that's a lie. He would do anything for you Spencer! He would stay by you and the baby's side."

"I don't want to be a weight around his neck. He deserves to have a life. I'm not going to take that away from him," I looked out the window. "I'm done having this conversation."

Thank goodness we switched classes for the new trimester. I couldn't find excuses to sit out in gym class when we played games like dodge ball. But the bad news was that I had almost had every class with Toby. We avoided each other like the plague. Wherever he sat I made sure to sit on the other side in the opposite corner. Unfortunately once we got to my last class, psychology the teacher had assigned seats. And just my luck we sat kiddy corner from each other.

"Ok so now that you understand the project," Mr. Raeford explained. "I printed out a list of pairings. You will find out your partner by looking at that list," he pointed to the wall. "I want this finished by Thursday, because we will present them."

Once the bell rang I took my time walking up to see who my partner was. I could see kids finding their partners as they walked out of the classroom discussing their plans. No. No. No. We both saw our names printed next to each other. I looked at him at the same time he looked at me. "I'll see you tonight," he said before leaving the classroom. He looked pissed, like he would rather be partners with anybody else in the world but me.

I had set up my kitchen prepared for us to get this project done as quick as possible. I nervously sat at the table waiting for him. It was weird when he knocked. It was even weirder to invite him into my house. "Do you want something to drink?" I asked nervously.

"No," he said sitting down. "I already got all the information, we just have to make a PowerPoint."

"I-I would have helped you. You didn't have to do it all yourself," I hesitantly sat down.

"Good," he handed me his notes. "You can make the PowerPoint then, and I'll go."

"Toby," I sighed. I hated this. He had no idea why I had to do what I did. "I don't want you to hate me."

He turned to look at me. "I don't hate you. I'm just mad at you."

"You have no idea why," I whispered.

"I know. That's why I'm mad. You can't tell me, your best friend the truth!" His face changed from mad to hurt.

"Because I'm protecting you!" I blurted out.

"From what?" He shouted

"I…I-I can't," I shook my head.

He started heading for the door again. "Toby," I grabbed his arm. "Please don't."

"Do what? I don't know what you want anymore?" He looked torn.

I relaxed, "Let me… try something."

He looked confused but he didn't walk away. I touched his chest I could feel his heartbeat pound against my palm. I slowly moved my hands up until they looped around his neck. I leaned in and pulled his face down to mine. I softly pressed my lips to his. He was startled but his lips moved against mine. His arms wrapped around my lower back.

I pulled away slowly. "Do you love me?"

He just nodded his head.

"More than a friend I mean?" I said shakily.

He looked deep into my eyes, "I always have."

"Sit down then," I closed my eyes.

He sat down on the couch, "Why?"

"I'm going to tell you," I nervously sat down next to him.

I could see him breath a sigh of relief.

"Don't be relieved. You are going to hate me. This is going to ruin your life. And you may never talk to me ever again," I could feel the tears fill my eyes.

He scooted closer to me. " Spence," he wiped the fallen tear from my eye. "I love you. Nothing you tell me will make me hate you."

"I hope that's true," I looked at him one last time. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I lifted my heavy grey knitted sweater. I put my hands on my obvious pregnant belly.

He didn't say anything so I opened my eyes and looked at him. His eyes were stuck on my belly. I wasn't sure if he understood. So I decided to explain. "The party."

"Mine?" Was all he was able to say. "It's mine?"

"Yeah. You are the only guy I've slept with," I pulled my shirt back down so he would stop staring.

"And you didn't tell me?" There it was. That look of disgust I was expecting.

"I-I didn't know how. I was afraid! I wanted you to have the chance at a good happy life," I touched my stomach again. "We can't give you that."

"You weren't ever planning on telling me?!" The anger was kicking in. "What were you going to do Spencer? Raise this baby without me? Give It up without my knowledge?"

"Toby…" The tears rolled down my cheeks. "I'm sorry." I gripped my stomach and cried as he continued to yell at me. I felt an unusual feeling in my stomach I gasped and clenched my stomach.

"What?!" Toby suddenly panicked. He crouched down in front of me. "Spencer what is it? Are you hurt? Is it the baby?!"

"No," I shook my head. I grabbed his hands and put them underneath my shirt. "It's kicking," I couldn't help but smile. It was such an odd feeling.

His face went from anger, to shocked, to scared, to… happy. Tears filled his eyes as it hit him. There was a life inside of me that we created. He pulled me to him and kissed me. He kissed me. Not a sweet little kiss, but an intense passionate kiss filled with love. He then kissed my forehead and my cheeks. "I'll be here for you," he kissed the tops of my hands. "and the baby," he lifted my shirt and kissed my belly.

He sat by me and stared intently into my eyes. "I'm scared. I'm terrified," he admitted. "But I love you. And I'll love this baby no matter what. I already do."

"I love you too," I said before kissing him again.


End file.
